One thing I have learned over the past few months at my post at Vogue? Our fashion department loves a makeover. Take me: A few weeks ago, I would have rather crawled into a hole than attend the black tie event I was supposed to cover. It wasn’t the event itself—I was widely assured it would be great; starry, chic, fun—it was the fact that I didn’t have the faintest idea of what I would, or should wear. This isn’t a new concern for me: The thought of wearing anything remotely feminine or curve-revealing regularly floods me with anxiety. On me it feels like costume; it’s just not who I am. But in a world of formal dress codes, things get complicated. Case in point: For my cousin’s wedding last summer I spent the few hours before the flight rummaging through my mother’s closet until I found something I deemed reasonable—a nineties sleeveless ankle-skimming dress complete with a jeweled collar and tulle poof lining the bottom. It was kitsch enough to look intentional and it didn’t look horrible—but the thought of naked arms and bare legs (all that exposed flesh!) was enough to confine me to the corner of the room for the rest of the night. Needless to say, there was no dancing for me.

So it wasn’t exactly a surprise that my anxiety was in full swing the day before the event. When a colleague asked what I planned to wear I shrugged in an attempt to convey a certain blasé, “why would I?” Lou Doillon–copped arrogance. It didn’t work. About 20 minutes before the event, I went to change into a dress my coworker lent me and was swept up in a tide of nausea-inducing dread. Moments later, there was a knock on the stall, and a colleague threw a natty Thom Browne tuxedo into my hands. I’ve never been so happy to see an article of clothing in my life. (Except maybe a pair of perfectly shredded black skinny jeans.)

Little did I know that the tux is the quintessential black-tie savior for ladies who aren’t so into flou: It’s casual and comfortable, easy to move in, but unmistakably formal. “Some women have dated views on wearing menswear-inspired suiting. Wearing a suit does not necessarily mean you will look mannish,” says Vogue Market Editor Chelsea Zalopany. “There are ways to make it sexy as well as your own. Instead of a flat dress shoe, you can add a heel, or simply untie the bow tie and open the collar.” (Or, in the case of many a YSL Le Smoking, with nothing underneath.) And it’s no secret that women have recently been converting the menswear item into their own wardrobes. Just look to the red carpet: French model Aymeline Valade very literally interpreted the borrowed from the boys tuxedo with dress shoes and a tight bow tie, but still wore it with an insouciant cool-slouch all her own at the 2014 Cannes Film Festival; Angelina Jolie injected a sliver of sex into her tux when she wore it with an undone bow tie, wide-open collar, walking arm-in-arm with arguably her best accessory, Brad Pitt (also in a tux, natch) at the 2014 BAFTA Awards. Nothing mannish about that.

As for me? I took the combination approach of going without heels à la Valade but left my collar and bow tie undone in a nod to Jolie, with a single Céline statement earring for good luck. And for once in my life, I didn’t worry about tripping over extra fabric or breaking out in hives at a formal event. I felt utterly myself. Moral of the story? If the suit fits — wear it.

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